the doorknob practice or just be kind ...

Before we left Langeland, we talked about the doorknob practice, that Michael Stone talked about in the last workshop.
About acknowledging the fact, that people at home have not been on retreat and maybe don't want to talk about or listen to all, in our minds, extremely valuable insights and experiences.



And remembering that a retreat is a retreat. Life at home generally doesn't support practice in the same way as a retreat.
Of course, you might think, but we tend to forget this. We tend to think that we can just hold on to the rythms of the retreat and implement them in to our lives as they are. and then when that proves hard or even impossible, we get frustrated and a little hard on ourselves and others.

Actually I found it wonderful and encouraging  that some of the key insights that some of us had on the retreat was to soften around practice. To not be so hard on ourselves and push things through. Because of course for some of us discipline is the big challenge, pulling ourselves together. getting on the mat. Or sitting down to meditate.
But ... for some of us the practice is also to soften. Realizing that we are going to die in a moment, and the key thing is to be kinder to ourselves and others. And seeing what is needed.

Doing what is needed. Nothing more and nothing less. And doing it with joy and kindness...

But we need the space of meditation and a kind of physical practice that has this same listening quality to be able to see clearly, what is needed. To see where we hold back. To see what stops us from just being kind.

And it isn't always that easy, just being kind.
I had a few wonderful days alone after our retreat, and it is really easy to be kind when your alone.
Much harder when there are other people ;-)
They push all our buttons, they take our time, precious time, they don't do things the way we want them.
Wouldn't it be easy to practice is everybody were just more like us?

After being alone, I got home, and then my daughter came to visit, and then her boyfriend, and then my husband and my son, and our little apartment was full of all these people who took my time and created chaos ... no time to practice. No room to practice. But then, what is needed? In stead of getting frustrated, just seeing what is needed in that situation.

I definitely have had and still have a tendency to see other people as a hindrance. An obstacle. Not my students, but the other people who take my time and want me to give them attention, support, love ...

                                                                      

But, I realize, that this is my practice. To stay open and available in lifes situations, challenges, demands.
This is what I practice for. To be open in life. To see, what stops me from being open and practice being present with that. As I always say when I teach yoga, we cannot push through our tight places. We need to stay present with them, allow them, breathe with them, experience them fully and they will loose their grip on us. Over time ... over time ... over time